Christmas 2005 - The Novel

Note: Since a blog can serve as a journal, I'm writing a whole lot so that I can remember these last couple days. It's going to be long. Feel free to skip down to "The 27th" or just right to comments. :-)

*****

What a lovely couple of days. Just lovely.

Christmas Eve

We dropped off gifts to MIL and her husband for his grown children and their families, since we won't see them. I had to wash our coats.

*side note - (this will be important later on as well) I was a smoker for many years. I never smoked a whole pack a day (in Canada, that's 25 cigs), more like 12 or 13. Even still, smoke didn't bother me. It took a lot for me to notice that I smelled like smoke. It's been several years since I had a cigarette. I can't take it any more. I hate stinking of smoke. I hate it in my hair. I hate it in the kids' hair.*

OK, so MIL and her DH smoke. Even still, it was nice to visit with them and 1 SIL before they went to Mass.

The Stuffed Animal Hunt went well, except that DD (who couldn't find an Easter egg on top of the coffee table in the middle of the living room) found hers right away. Rats. DS had to be helped. He was actually more excited about the Batman slippers, which he wears all the time now instead of socks.

Christmas Day

The Morning

We were up at 8:00, which is pretty darn good. The kids made it down the stairs before I had the video camera set up, so I only got the last few seconds of DS exclaiming "Me got bike! Me got bike!". DD liked her rock tumber (more on that in a minute), but the big hit was the magic kit, with 76 tricks that you can do yourself! She's so cute practicing. There's one trick where you take a little foam rabbit and put it into someone's hand, sneaking in another at the same time, so it looks like the rabbits multiplied in the person's hand. She does this with DS and he says how he's magic too. I actually got all teary-eyed about it yesterday. DH is not quite laughing at me about that. Humpf.

We decided to set the rocks to tumbling right away. You get a package of rough stones and some grit. Pour the rock, the grit and a cup of water into the tumbler thing (looks like a cement mixer), plug the machine in, turn it on, and let it run for 3 days. That's right - 3 days. That's the "rough" polish, then the medium polish (5 days), then the fine polish (3 days) for a total of 11 days of this loud thing whirring away. I've had to put it in the basement. Ha! And I thought I asked about everything I needed to know! I'm sure it will all be worth it when I get the earrings she's going to make for me out of the polished stones. :-) We'll collect small stones at the beach and just pop them in there with some sand to shine them. But only for 3 days, I think. We won't shine stones for more than that after this.

The Dinner at My Mother's

I wasn't expecting much. DH claims to see Middle Sister's hand in this visiting with Mom on the holidays thing. My mother has made herself very, very clear over the last 15 years. She does not use my husband's name. She does not call my children by name. When she emails me, it is addressed to myfirstname mymaidenname. She's never given the children a Christmas present, even when we've been invited to visit ("Would you and your family like to come by?") $5 in a card. How hard is this? This was the make it or break it year. DH and I had decided that if there was nothing for the kids yet again, and we were being forced to go there instead of to Dad's (where the mood is comfortable and the conversation flows nicely and everyone feels welcome), we were going to start burning bridges.

Well.

There were presents for the kids. Mom called them by name, and DH too. She came up with a little nickname for herself for the kids to call her, because up until now she's been "Mommy's Mom". Now, when she gave us the couch last month, DH had been happy to have her use his name and look him in the eye, so he was most of the reason I didn't fake an illness this year. Give her a chance, he said.

It was just great. Conversations flowed. Kids ran around. Presents were opened. Dinner was great. She put an effort into the presents for the kids, too. They each got a disposable camera and something else. It wasn't awkward or weird. Just great. Hee.

We did have to leave a bit early, since DS had decided to show his affection for Middle Sister's BF's daughter (11) by throwing stuff at her. In his defense, she often tries to ditch him. We left anyway. It was 8:00 p.m. They'd been up for 12 hours and wound up for most of that, so it was time.

Boxing Day

My cousin and her DBF dropped by for coffee, tea and nibblies in the early afternoon. They brought chocolate for me, a Rescue Hero for DS, a rotary tool for DH and a music box for DD that lights up and has these little skaters that twirl around a mirror. She loves it, not just because it's pretty, but because it's del-kit and that means that she's responsible, like an adult. *big grin*

They lingered (and that's not a bad thing), and so we were running a bit late to get to SIL's place for dinner. It was a nice time there too. One of her numerous BILs was there (her DH is from a family of 8 kids) and her MIL, as well as her mother (my MIL) and her husband and one of his daughters (the whacked one). Nieces, nephews and grandkids. You know, SIL's kids' kids are the same age as mine. Please note that this makes me a GREAT-AUNT to 4 children.

Since it went so well at Mom's, I was half expecting to see Nephew #1 with his common-law wife and their kids. She's "sick" or working for every family event. I wanted to start a pool and lay odds. I'd have chosen "first child sick" (he's not Nephew #1's and she keeps him away from us as best she can. It's harder with the son she shares with Nephew, since that kid is actually blood-related to my in-laws). I would have won. I sniped about that with SIL, Niece #1 and Niece #2. It worked out. I don't care to see her. I worry about Nephew, though. Is she going to succeed in keeping him away from his family entirely? Nephew is a pretty strong guy, but I'm not sure how he can be with so joyless a person and be happy. He was always a lot af fun, friends with everyone kind of guy, and here he is with this woman who treats his family like dirt. These people welcomed me with open arms, despite the way I looked (and oh yes, I was a weird one). I'm proud to wear the engagement ring that belonged to MIL's aunt. It links me to the family, makes me one of them. Nephew's woman "lost" MIL's ring (from her marriage to DH's father) that he gave her. I think it's in a drawer somewhere. I think she can't stand to be a part of the family. Incidentally, DH's father is a bit of a legend and he and MIL had quite a romance. Losing that ring is B.I.G.

So I didn't have her to sneer at, but the smoke was "thick enough to cut with a knife", to quote Niece #1. As we drove home, I thought about writing a blog entry titled "I Reek", because I smelled so. farking. bad. DD kept saying how her throat hurt. All our eyes were dry. Blech.

Even still, the food was good and he kids were fun to watch with their new stuff. I was glad to have the chance to catch up. We've all drifted apart. DH and I have always been sociable when necessary kind of people. We tend to stay at home. It's not that we hate people, or not only that, but we prefer to keep to ourselves. We're still on a friendly basis with everyone, we just don't see them very often anymore. Maybe that will change when the kids are grown and gone. I rather enjoy quiet times with DH alone and together with the kids.

Hey, Woe! Envy me! Niece had the Super Mario games! I've borrowed SuperMarioWorld (with Yoshi) and All Stars with SuperMario Brothers 1, 2 and 3. Woo!

The 27th

We wound down today. Didn't go anywhere, just stayed in. I had my usual Tuesday chores to take care of. I made a huge batch of my spaghetti sauce (that only DS and I like) to freeze for lunches. You can see the floor in the living room.

It's been a great couple of days. I am content.