My Cousin's Weird Wedding

My cousin has been living with a lovely woman for the last 4 years or so. Their daughter is 3. Her family is from Guyana. They are Muslims. I had to look up Guyana when I learned that because I thought Guyana was in South America and that instantly makes me think "Catholic". Well, you will be interested to know that it *is* in South America, they (and Suriname) are "Caribbean", not "Latin American" and they have a not-insignificant Muslim population. I am here to educate you. Or tell you something everyone has known forever and I'm just catching up.

So my cousin isn't a religious guy, really. And I'm guessing neither is Bride of Cousin, what with the whole living in sin thing and the child out of wedlock. I rather expected a civil ceremony, but an imam officiated. The wedding itself took place in an Italian restaurant. They have a reception area (where the ceremony took place) and an adjoining banquet room. We were a small crowd and so filled the space fairly well without being packed in.

The Ceremony

The groom waited with the imam at the front of the reception room. The Wedding March played. The daughter of the bride and groom came running up the aisle and straight to Daddy. The only rose petals that were strewn were those that were jostled out of her basket on the way. I have a great picture of her little ringlets flowing out behind her as she charged out of the shot. She was followed by her (much) older sister and another bridesmaid who were dressed in stunning satin gowns of a dark reddish colour. The dresses were shoulderless, by the way, with a little gather at the hip accentuated by a lovely ruby-like brooch. They were accompanied by the groomsmen in their fancy suits. All filed up to the front and took their places.

Then came the bride. Her father walked her down the aisle. And then stood there in between Cousin and Bride. The imam explained that this was because it was the Muslim tradition for unwed men and women to be kept separate.

The Joke I Didn't Make at the Wedding

It's a bit late for that now.

End of Joke

The imam explained the three parts of the ceremony: sermon, questions and I forget...maybe the "husband and wife" pronouncement thing. He was so nervous, his notes were shaking. I made him look at me a lot by smiling slightly and nodding. We got the Arabic version and then the English version of the sermon...let's see if I can remember a bit..."respect your women's rights because you are born of them". It might have been a shorter sermon without all the Islam PR moments, but I guess if you've got the opportunity to convince a bunch of white anglos that you're not all terroists, you take it. Like we thought they were all going to strap on bombs and blow themselves up during dinner or something.

Then came the questions. Bride was asked whether she gave permission to her father to give her away. Father was asked if he gave her to Cousin. Cousin was asked if he accepted her. He got to say "I do", which I never did...I had to say "I will". *pout* Imam told Cousin he would be giving that answer twice, to which Cousin immediately responded "I do. I do." to much laughter. He was asked another question...I forget what. The questions and answers having been given, the imam pronounced them married. Then he told her father, who was still standing there, to "Go and leave them alone now." *snort* The Best Man mumbled "they should put that in every wedding ceremony".

Then we prayed. You get to keep your eyes open and you have to cup your hands, not fold them. I didn't figure that out until I saw the bridesmaids (who are not a Muslim tradition) holding their bouquets awkwardly. Now this was apparently a prayer that everyone knows, so everyone said the prayer except those of us on the white anglo side. It was just like a whole bunch of Christians murmuring The Lord's Prayer: the meaning of the words has long since been lost and you're just chanting along. It was really refreshing to see people from another religion just going through the motions.

Now they are all legally married and stuff, so Cousin says "When do I get to kiss my bride?" Says the imam: "Oh, it's not tradition in Islam for men and women to show public displays of affection." There was a lot of quiet. Then he said he guessed it would be OK. Then they tacked on a little ring exchange. Rehearsals: A Good Idea.

The Reception

We had a choice of meals, none of them pork. Even the caesar salad didn't have bacon bits. There was no alcohol. So we ate halal at an Italian restaurant. Ha! Since the imam had gone home, we clinked our glasses at the bride and groom. Because we are shits. They kissed. They only had to put up with that twice though. Once during the salad course and once just after the main course.

And that was my cousin's not-quite Muslim wedding.