Venting

I'm having some trouble with being stupid. In honour of Boo, my complaints with myself will be in list form.

1. I gave platelets today and was asked if I would like to also give some additional plasma. I said yes. 20 minutes after I left the clinic, I felt dizzy and nauseated, just like after I give whole blood, which is why I don't give whole blood anymore. I spent the following 2 hours feeling crummy. I need to learn to say no.

2. Yesterday, I totally and completely forgot to go to the information session for people who run nutrition programs at schools. I didn't remind anyone, so no-one from our program went, despite a long discussion last week about us all going.

3. I forgot to invite the kids' cousins to DD's birthday party on Saturday. It would be pretty rude to invite them now, wouldn't it?

4. The Secret Santa present I sent has a part that I think may have been a dumb idea. I feel silly about having sent it, but it's been mailed and I can't get it back or even add something to explain what I was thinking when I put it in.

5. I have no idea what to get anyone for Christmas and I don't want to go shopping or even tidy the house.

6. I have packed my days full, but don't seem to actually accomplish anything. I feel like I'm spinning my tires and my engine's revving, but I'm not getting anywhere. I can't relax.

7. I am so busy that I won't be able to help the Kindergarten teacher tomorrow, even though I usually help him on Thursdays. I will have to ask him for something to take home to do, because I feel I am letting him down, especially after I was sick last week.

8. I forgot to do laundry and so ended up having to do it at 10:00 Sunday night so DD would have clothes for Monday.

9. Younger Brother of the boys I babysit wanted their former Transformer back, but I wouldn't let him take it.

Backstory: One day walking home from school (before their mother got the new job and they started coming to our house), DS had a Transformer that had been mine when I was young. They were passing it between themselves and the boys ended up with it. I called their mother when DS realised that he didn't have it. He was pretty upset about it. The mother said she'd grab it and they'd give it to us in the morning. However, the boys gave it to their neighbour, who lost it - or more accurately, whose mother refused to look for it. So the boys were made to give DS a Transformer in exchange. DS was good with the trade, though he still asks me if they found his yet.

I told Younger Brother that he could have it when he gave back DS's Transformer, but he was loudly pissed off. Older brother very cheerfully said that DS could keep it. Their stepdad didn't know what to do and I wonder if he thinks I'm a hardass. I sure feel like one, but the deal was a Transformer for a Transformer. I will hear from their mother if she thinks I was unfair. I feel badly. I shouldn't. If it were my kids, I'd have said it wasn't even their Transformer anymore, they'd had to give it away.

10. I can't think of anything else right now, but I'll get back to you. Actually, I feel a bit better for having said it all.